torstai 27. elokuuta 2015

Greed

Greed

  Greed is excessive or rapacious desire especially for whealth of possessions.

Once upon of time there was a man who was known to be greedy and selfish. One day the mans wife told her husband to go to buy them food for dinner. So the man went. As he got to the store he was filled with greed as he saw the shelves full of delicous food and ingredients. His trolley was full with stuff he didn’t need. One of the cashiers saw the man wondering around with the full trolley and asked him “ Sir, do you really need all of that food?”. The man got very angry and spat to the woman to mind her own business. He paid and left the store. He felt himself content and peaceful. As he walked out of the store the man came across a homeless man. The man looked at the homeless man in disgust. The homeless man saw the mans bags full of fresh food and begged him “Please good sir share me a part of your delicious and fresh food I haven’t eaten in days”. The man laughed and said “To a filth like yourself? Never in a million years”. The greedy man walked away from the homeless man. On his way home the man decides to cross a busy road. The lights are red for him but he ignores them and start to cross the road. Out of nowhere a red truck appears infront of him. The car hits the man and he flies through the air. Later that day he wakes up in the hospital with a broken leg and three fractured ribs. His wife rushes to his side annoyed and says “You almost lost your life due to your greedy manners! You should be grateful to be alive!”. The man realises how wrong his ways were and tries to make a change.



Atte, Juulia, Camilla, Era, Gigbril

2 kommenttia:

  1. What a nice story! Well done, Atte, Juulia, Camilla, Era and Gibril!

    Here's a few notes on accuracy:
    - Once upon of time -> Once upon a time
    - the mans wife -> the man's wife
    - One of the cashiers saw the man wondering around -> One of the cashiers saw the man wAndering around *wonder= miettiä, wander= vaellella*
    - ... and spat to the woman to mind her own business -> and asked the woman to mind her own business OR and spat to the woman: "Mind your own business!" *an indirect order or a request must follow a verb of request (to ask, to tell, to request...)*
    - He felt himself content and peaceful -> He felt content and peaceful.
    - the mans bags -> the man's bags
    - but he ignores them and start to cross -> he ignores them and starts to cross
    - infront of him -> in front of him

    You suddenly change your tense midway through your text - first you use the past tense (He walked out of the store) and in the end, you use the present tense (the man decides to cross). Pick one and stick to it!

    All in all, your text is very fluent and displays a good command of the structures we've seen in class! Well done!

    VastaaPoista
  2. Very nice story! And good for the man trying to change his life :D T: Kasper

    VastaaPoista